"Who in the World am I?Ah! That's the great puzzle"

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Mission Impossible...NOT!

I should probably start another blog space all together for the adventures of my ally, Ms. Pallavika Ghising and I.  Since her arrival to the capital in September, Pallu (as I fondly call her) and I have taken every measure to see each other regularly(even though we live in the extreme opposite ends of the city). Yes, Delhi is big, might I add, very...very big! Thanks to the Common Wealth Games, the metro lines.(I am still not very familiar with that mode of transportation but I am getting there), in South Delhi have decreased our geographical distance and helped us get to each other frequently.

A couple of days ago, Pallu called me and asked me to join her on 'Operation- Ganga International School'. Apparently, her father had sent some stuff through a kid(who belongs to the state place as Pallu), studying there and we were supposed to go and collect it. Commando Pallu and I, met at Rajeev Chowk Metro station, circa 3:30pm. We purchased tickets until Kashmere Gate and yes, spent that time, talking and laughing at people around and people, that we could recall from long ago.

At Kashmere Gate, our throats went dry and we decided to buy something to drink from one of the kiosks. Since we had to change the lines and buy tickets for the Red Line, we had to drop the token, walk out of the exit, buy new tokens and pass through the security (again). As we were passing through the security, one of the guards, in his disgusting, irritating, dominating voice boomed at Pallu (in Hindi, obviously),
"Madame, you are not allowed to drink that in here. Go out and finish it."
Before she could retaliate, I plunged in, "We bought these drinks from inside the metro. If you want people drinking outside, you should set up kiosks and shops outside; And are we the only ones drinking and eating here? We are not even inside the train. What is your problem?"
The Security guard mumbled something and another of his aides came forward stating, "You all eat and drink here and leave the trash lying around."
"What do you mean by 'you all' ? " Pallu darted at him.
Before he could explain himself, for the second time that day, I barged in saying, "Have you seen her and me specifically throwing trash around? Do you even know us or recognize our faces?"
The guards were now a little agitated as people had started crowding around. We were giving them a street-play.
"And you don't need to teach us about keeping the environment safe and clean," Pallu shot at him, "We know better."
Moving towards the ticket counter, still drinking, I looked at the guard and then at Pallu and in the most sarcastic tone ever, said, "Is he a retard?"
"I think so," she responded.
We bought the tickets up to Inderlok and shooting glances at the guards and still drinking, walked past the security and up to the platform.
On reaching the platform, we realized there were no trash-bins around so we tossed the empty packets right there and looking at each other, giggling.
"Stupid, irritating asshole guards!"
"This stupid station doesn't even have a dust-bin!" I said in a, as-a-matter-of-fact tone.

On reaching Indelok, we realized we had to change lines again. So we purchased tickets up to Mundra and got on the Green Line. We had to pass through 13 stations and as we sat there, we started talking about brothels and prostitution. (It was probably the girls around that prompted us to begin the topic.) We laughed like Schizophrenics, as I re-told her the story that my ex-boyfriend had told me about the whore-houses at G.B Road and the famous Khal-Para at Siliguri, West Bengal. People stared at us as If we came from a different planet. Just then, I noticed a girl who had love bites on her neck and she took no measures to cover them. In fact, she seemed proud about it. I nudged Pallu and she understood what I meant. We sat there through 13 stations and when we finally reached Mundra, It was dark and the stars were out.

The school was about 4-5 kms away from the metro station and the janitor at the Mundra station advised us to take the bus. I gave a "no-way" look at Pallu. We thought we'd find an auto-rickshaw and hire it up to the school and back to the metro-station. To our utter disappointment and misfortune, there were not a single auto-rickshaw in sight and we felt like we really came from another planet. The people around were staring at us and passing comments. With our small eyes, fair-skinned complexion and 'Western Outfit' we definitely did not belong there. We walked ahead and saw a bus that was packed with people. Yeah, right...take the bus? That's be like purchasing tickets to let creepy-sweaty men molest you in the crowd. We walked as some people walked along with us and stared and said things that we did not understand. Pallu started getting scared, petrified!
"I always carry a Swiss-knife," I comforted her.

This man, had run out of fuel and was walking with his bike to a petrol pump.
"Excuse me Uncle, " I said.
He looked at us.
"Is this the route to Hirak kund....??? eh??? something like that?" (in Hindi)
"Where are you all going?" He asked
"Ganga International School," in unison.
"Yeah, this is the route. Why? Where are you from? Who are you going to meet?" etc etc etc the man interrogated. After explaining our mission, he said It's not safe for us to walk there on our own so he would accompany us till the gas station and he would even give us a lift on his bike till the school. Yes, we could not help ourselves and started laughing as I imagined the three of us on his bike.
"You sit in the middle," Pallu ordered.
The disadvantage of being skinny and petite is, whenever there's a crowd, you are expected to sit on someone's lap or ride trips on bikes! I've had enough of such experiences.

The petrol pump was almost 2 kms away and we walked. I started getting this side pain on my tummy region. I thought I would collapse. The uncle had found us very fascinating and he kept questioning us about everything.
"Are you from Nepal? China?"
I thought I'd lose all my energy, including my voice by the time the mission was completed.

After filling fuel at the gas station, the Uncle started his bike. I got in, placed my bag in between so there would be no body-to-body contact with the rider.(ewwwwww). Pallu almost fell off while trying to get on and yes, we laughed again. The school was another 2 or 2.5 kms away so as we rode on the highway, the three of us, Pallu kept laughing. I thought the man would lose his patience and leave us in the middle of the road. He kept talking and he even commented that we should have come early and how silent and deserted the area seemed to be. To which, Pallu, as If it was a reflex, responded,
"Haan-ji yeh area toh kitna veeran hai!" (This area is eerie-ly deserted.)
In that uncomfortable and space-deprived position, I managed to take a life-risking turn and look at Pallu. I gave her a, you-did-not-just-say-that look!
She laughed and then I just couldn't hold it. I laughed so hard. The uncle probably thought we were run-aways from some asylum.
Finally, we saw the school gate. Thanked the good Samaritan for his help and asked the security guard to call XYZ. As we waited there, in the dark, we asked the security guards If we could sit inside the school compund and wait. He allowed so we sat there and then this weird, cattle-like smell filled the air.
"Ewwww what's that smell?" Pallu asked, getting disgusted.
"It smells like a cow," I answered.
Just then we saw, near-by there was a stable and there were horses there.
"OMG! Look Avvan, horses!" Pallu screamed, like as If we had discovered water in the desert.
"So cool! these kids have riding facility?"
"I wish my parents had sent me to a boarding school where we could ride horses," Pallu said, with regret and sadness in her voice.
"Yeah, me too," I joined.
Boy XYZ turned up with the stuff. Pallu and he exchanged formal greetings and had a small talk. Once the exchange was made, I breathed a sigh of relief! It was past 8:30pm and the sky was dark and the breeze, chilly.

I'd used my brain previously(while walking) and booked a taxi that could come pick us up and take us back home. Well, there was no way we could find another transport back to the metro station and walking back would be totally insane! We requested the security guards to allow us to wait in the school premises until the cab arrived. He let us. As Pallu and me, still gossiped and laughed about silly things, a drunkard showed up at the gate. He mumbled something and shook his index finger, like a warning sign at Pallu.
Instead of getting scared, we both started laughing.

I think we spent almost an hour, sitting there as I made frantic calls to the taxi-driver, every ten minutes, who kept lying that he was driving real fast(like James Bond). He finally showed up and as Pallu and me got into the car, we breathed a sigh of relief.

It took us more than an hour to get home. In between Pallu kept complaining that she gets car-sick and that, she wanted to throw up. Fortunately, she didn't. I don't know what I would have done, had she actually thrown up. We didn't even have a bottle of water and had run out of tissues! Let's NOT imagine that situation. Enough adventure for the day!

Operation- Ganga International School was completed and Agent Pallu and Agent Avvan, took pride and were satisfied at the accomplishment. (Believe me, If Agent Ethan Hunt is reading this, he is worrying about his replacement in the next Mission Impossible movie.)

In another hour, I am heading to the famous flea market, Sarojini Nagar, with Pallu. I'll keep you updated If adventure finds us again, or If we find it ;)

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