"Who in the World am I?Ah! That's the great puzzle"

Saturday, November 24, 2012

Goodbye My Lover

You can always let go of the things that you've held onto for so long. Yes, It is possible. The moments will always find a cozy room some where at the back of your head and behave like a drunken guest who refuses to leave. It isn't always a bad thing. Of course, It can be painful. To think of a time, a place, a person in that undulating wave of memories that refuse to stay still.

So, I think....I think of how we used to be. I think of what we could have been. I think of the six long years that we held on to. The happiness and the hurt both. I think of your face and and how you curve your lips when you want to smile but don't want to show it on your face. I think of the perfect mornings when I woke up next to you. I think of the lonely nights when you never came home. Yes, I think of you.

And then, my thoughts flee my mind. No, you don't remain. What remains is the fact that It's over.   The feelings are never in sync or harmonized. They are there and they come and go as they wish. Some times I feel so much, other times, I feel nothing. You are fading....

Saturday, September 1, 2012


I'd stopped writing for a while...It's just that nothing seemed so inspiring anymore. Everything seemed blasé. Until last week....

 I've been spending a lot of time watching videos on YouTube. Not just any random videos but videos by Wong Fu Productions. They're a production house started by Ted Fu, Wesley Chan and Philip Wang. Their videos usually get millions of hits and are very popular among the Asian-American community. Well the point is, Christopher Dinh Nguyen, the half Vietnamese, half Chinese actor/producer/writer appears in a lot of their short films. 
He's a brilliant actor. He always manages to do justice to the characters that he portrays. I love all the shorts that he appears in but If I have to pick one out of all, It would have to be "This will all make perfect sense some day" (based on a short story by Haruki Murakami)

See, this is what I always do! Get carried away with the details that I forget what I started off with. I suppose its obvious. I am in love with Chris Dinh and he inspired me to write this Haiku. I casually tweeted him and he was sweet enough to reply to three of my tweets! Since then, life hasn't been the same for me. I live, breathe and eat Chris Dinh! 

Haiku: A Japanese style poetry of seventeen syllables. It has three lines and five, seven and five syllables. 

The raindrops, they waltz
Besmirched with the sweetest dreams.
You, my Illusion

And this is the MAN who's brought me back to life: Chris Dinh 

Thursday, April 12, 2012


Yeah I live in a third-world country! India's weird...I mean on one hand, you have all the metropolitan cities that are so advanced and on the other, you have millions of people living below the poverty-line. I guess that happens If a country is so vast in area and mixed with too many cultures and races. Anyway, this post isn't about India; But why I mentioned the above was, some months ago LINSANITY took over entire North America and if something gets big there, usually the rest of the world has to know! (that's just the way it is) and I was here, like most of my country-men, totally ignorant of it. Another thing is, basketball is not a big deal in this cricket-loving nation, so I guess that's why I didn't see it on the tv as well! But me??? I've been a basketball freak since I was a kid. Those of you who know me, also know that I played basketball in school(I still do....yeah, it's possible for short people to play the game) and I have adored Kobe Bryant of the Los Angeles Lakers and worshiped him all my life! Therefore I follow only that one team but lately, I hadn't been watching any game so I was oblivious of this whole new wave that had created a tsunami in the west!

JEREMY LIN, 23 years old, 6 feet 3 inches, point guard for the New York Knicks. My brother had been talking about an Asian player but I hadn't bothered to find out who it was. Then one day, I was watching Ryan Higa videos on youtube(cos he's absolutely funny and I like the stuff he does) when I came across Jeremy Lin. I was like "This guy's cute" and then www.google.com and it was a moment of epiphany! Linsanity exploded on my screen and that moment, I turned into a LINATIC! 

You see, Jeremy Lin came to the Knicks when nobody wanted him. Oh yeah, the dude went to Harvard.   (ASIANS ROCK!) 

 First the Golden State Warriors took him but he was pretty much a bench-warmer there and then the Houstan Rockets took him (They probably thought he was another Yao Ming) but they let him off even before the season started. The Knicks were in a bad form and were losing all the games and that's where Jeremy landed. Then according to the sources on the net, most of the star players were injured and the coach, D'Antoni had no choice but to let Lin play against the Nets. Lin stepped on to the court and then, It was Magic! He scored, he assisted, he got the rebounds and the entire game turned around and people went insane....or LINSANE! It was like the movies. The impossible happened! After that, Lin helped the team win almost all the games and suddenly New York was caught in this madness they called LINSANITY. 
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What I like about Jeremy Lin (I spent an entire day watching his videos on youtube and reading up on every possible article I could find on him) is that he is so humble! And when you watch his game, you can see that he is one player who plays with sincerity and true sportsmanship. His game is anything but selfish! He's a firm believer in Jesus Christ and he makes it a point to thank God and give glory in all his interviews. Obviously the Asian Community in North America went nuts! And sitting in front of my laptop, I went nuts! I mean, somebody that looks like us was there in the NBA, ruling the game not with a fierce attitude but with his talent and humility! It was something the world had never seen before. Everybody was talking about him. From President Obama to Roger Federer and even my lazy brother! And how could I have been so blind????

One of my friend says when Celebrity Crush strikes me, It's a malady! Its a chaotic ailment that I put myself through! And the strange thing is I love it! I love, loving celebrities and Jeremy Lin is one of them. It's not just a crush though. I love the game and there's this cute guy who plays the game like he was born to play it! He's an example of awesomeness. And can you not love someone whose awesomeness level is above 900000000000

Now If you come across someone who says, "Jeremy Lin, who?". Send that person to me! I am going to give that person a good dose of Lintasy and fill his/her head with the Luper Linsane Love! 

Just a couple of pictures to prove that I play basketball ;)

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Reel Love is Real Love

Contrary to the last post, this one's not besmirched with any macabre elements. It's about one of those things that we girls love to shriek and scream about and yes, giggle and sigh! I am gonna declare my Top Five Celebrity Crushes and state reasons as to why I love them... (For Fun). 

In the 90's a t.v series called "The X-Files" was extremely popular.Now what you have to keep in mind is that I am not talking about the world in general but a country called, India and most importantly, a tiny state in the foothills of the Himalayas called Sikkim! Seven Oceans apart and thousands and thousands of kilometers away from where Agent Fox Mulder was shooting in a set in Hollywood, he had fans drooling over him in a pint-sized state of India.
I must have been in the 6th standard when I watched a couple of episodes of the series and honestly back then I was more fascinated with the alien invasion and the theme tune of the series (Too-roo-roo-rooooo! Ask any 90's child about it. They'd know!) but yes, DD caught my eye and I thought, "This man's kinda hot!"
Years rolled by and I did see him in a few movies and yes, as one of Carrie's boyfriends ( As Jeremy in the episode: Boy, Interrupted) in the famous Sex & the City.  Like wine, he seemed to be getting more fine with time.
Then 2007 came and Hollywood gave us Hank Moody- the sex addict, sarcastic, witty, Indolent, libertine yet awesome lover of Californication. Of course he won the Golden Globe that year for Best Performance by an Actor in a television series- Musical or Comedy. Also he's been nominated every year since the series started for the GGs. 
What's not to like about the man? He's rugged, has a sexy physique at 50 plus and the passion with which he portrays Hank Moody is totally drool-worthy! I love you <3

Who would have thought that curly headed dorky looking kid from Holes would have turned out to be such a kick ass bad boy? Of course I remember watching Holes and enjoying the movie. I must have been about 15-16 back then. A couple of years later, he's this cute boy on Disturbia and Transformers! (totally transformed and causing disturbia to us girls)

On screen, he's like this sweet decent boy who's usually taciturn and shy of girls. You know that kind of character that girls love to go "Awwwww" over?

Then in interviews, he's so blatant and cool and In-Your-Face kinda bad-boy that makes the girls go, "I-WANT-HIM!"

It's more than his boyish charms. It's the fact that he's like this cute boy next door that could make you fall in love with him without saying a word.

Okay...Basketball Dairies, Romeo + Juliet, Titanic, The Beach, Catch me If You Can, Gangs of New York, The Aviator, Blood Diamond, The Departed, Body of Lies, Shutter Island, Inception, J.Edgar.... I almost fainted while writing that. With every movie he's done, he's proved himself as an actor. He has evolved!

Right from that cute chocolaty boy with deep, passionate eyes to the man that he's become today, he has girls of every age drooling over him. I clearly remember when Titanic released. I was in the 6th standard and Titanic was not just a film. It was a sensation and the wave that stirred and caused this sensation that put my entire school (must mention: A Catholic Girls Boarding School) into a romantic deluge was Mr DiCaprio! Needless to say, we all drowned in his love and we didn't need anyone to save us from it.

#04: This one is a tie between RYAN GOSLING & JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT (I'd be committing a sin   If I had to choose only one)
Ryan Gosling: Not only is he cute and drop dead gorgeous but this man can act! His brilliant performances in movies like Lars and the Real Girl, All Good Things, Fracture, Blue Valentine, Half Nelson and the most recent,  Drive and Ides of March has won him praises from film critics all over and the female fans can't stop lusting after him.

Gosling has that protuberant sexual vibe. You have to agree with me on that. He doesn't try too hard and yet when you see him on screen, something in your heart goes weak and in your eyes, he's such an irresistible, charming man that you'd kiss him at the first opportunity given, without a second thought.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt: He was one of those American actors that was really popular in my school (when internet wasn't as accessible as It is now and the only possibility of seeing him was renting his movies). 

Yeah I was a teenager and every Sunday evening in the Boarding school, they let us watch a couple of tv series, out of which 3rd Rock from the Sun was one of them. I'd watched Angels in the Outfield as well so of course I liked him as Tommy Solomon in the series.

Then the epidemic broke. 10 Things I hate about You released in 1999 and It was a must-watch movie for all the girls in my school. (R.I.P Heath Ledger, who was equally popular). The girls went crazy and every one had those 10 things written down some where in their diary or scrap book. We knew the lines by heart and we were all obsessed.

Even now, he's grown and progressed as an actor, he still hasn't lost that charm and that sweetness in him. With movies like 500 Days of Summer and 50/50, He's proved that he's only going to be increasing more female fans in the coming years.

#05: It's a tie again...I really can't choose. EDWARD NORTON & JOHN CUSACK

Ed Norton: I remember watching Primal Fear when I was a teenager but instead of getting freaked out by the creepy Aaron Stampler, I was drawn towards him.

In American History X, I realized I really liked him as an actor as well as a celebrity that I'd love to lust after. Then I watched Fight Club and there was nothing that could be done. I fell hook, line and sinker for the man. For me, he over shadowed Brad Pitt and shone like a fucking bright star!

What's sexy about the man is that he writes as well. Any man who writes has an edge over the rest. He's even directed some films and he's actually a social activist. He runs marathons and raises money for charity. Isn't he the perfect man to take home to your parents???

John Cusack: I know most of you are not going to agree with me but all you 90's girls who grew up watching rom coms from the 80's, you gotta admit, Say Anything had you feeling like the perfect thing a guy could ever do for you would be to come below your window and play Peter Gabriel's "In Your Eyes" while he holds that boombox above his head. (I still want that to happen)

Serendipity...I know most of you have watched that movie over and over again and you will not hesitate to watch it again If it's on some channel on t.v.

Another cool thing about this sexy man is that he is a blogger at the Huffington Post and writes strongly against the war in Iraq.

And this one's an icing on the cake....Later this month, his film The Raven will release, in which he portrays the noir and one of my favourite poets, Edgar Allan Poe!!!! . I can hardly wait for that one.

So these are the top five celebrities that I'd do anything for! They're all over in my dreams and in my thoughts. In my constant reverie. They are my muse. With the Real Men all acting like jerks and giving us, women such hard times, I don't see any harm in obsessing with the Reel Men on screen and falling in love with them. Ahhhh Love....such an awesome feeling!

Monday, November 28, 2011

The Strangers That We Know

There are these people...some people that you know and who become a part of your life but then they're not your friends. I mean you just meet these people at certain gatherings, some places and then you don't even know what their names are. Every body has such strangers in their lives that they kind of know. They're not really strangers actually because you see them around but you don't really know them at all! 

I had gone to Kathmandu, Nepal in the month of September and was there for almost a month. So I was headed back to Gangtok and usually I travel alone. So I landed at the Bhadrapur Aiport and took a taxi to Kakarbhita. That's like in the border between India and Nepal. I needed to switch into another taxi to get back to my apartment in Siliguri so when we stopped there, I started asking the drivers if anyone was available and you know....the bargaining shit and stuff like that. In all that chaos, I noticed a familiar face but I really didn't bother. So anyway after a while, a taxi was arranged and because I was so tired, I thought I'd have a glass of tea from the road-side stall and smoke a cigarette. As I sat there, sipping the tea and smoking, that familiar face was lurking around. He had an uncertain look on his face but he kept looking at me and then looking away and then looking at me again. 

So I looked up at him and he approached me 
"Didi tapai Delhi ma thiyo?" which means Didi, were you in Delhi?
I was a little surprised but that question kind of made me all the more sure that I did know this guy as well. I was like,
"Ho, tah! Bhai lie mai lay kata dekhe ko?" (Yes, I was. Where have I seen you before?)
He replied
"Mo Dilli Haat ko Nagaland food stall ma kaam gar thiye. Tapai pura au thiyo" (I used to work in the Nagaland food stall in Dilli Haat. You used to come there a lot)
That's when every thing came back to me. You see there is this government initiated handicrafts and food stalls in New Delhi which is called Dili Haat, which most of you people in Delhi know about. It used to be one of my favourite places to hang out while I was there cos the handicrafts were always an amazing gift or an interior decoration piece and then the food at the Nagaland stall was beyond amazing! So I used to frequent that particular stall a lot. I always sat on a table this guy waited on  cos he looked kinda sad and he was the youngest out of all the staff. He had that face you know.....some one who carries a poignant smile all the time....yeah that kinds. For some reason, I imagined all sorts of tragedy in his life and therefore every time I visited that place, I tipped him well. 

So anyway, Yeah I met him there in the middle of all that journey and I asked him to sit with me and have tea. He told me he'd left Delhi and was now driving a taxi and earning his living. When I asked him how did he recognize me, he smiled and said that It was my voice! See, for those of you who don't know me, I don't have a typical girly-girly voice. In fact It's a bit hoarse and that's one reason I've never had the confidence to sing. And then he added, "Tapai lay jahiley pani ma lie tip chori din thiyo" (You always tipped me)

Then I realized I was carrying my camera with me so I asked him If I could take his picture, to which he agreed gladly. Then he was called for duty and he left. I sat there and I did something that I normally don't do. I smiled!  I didn't ask him his name or anything. I don't know why but that didn't seem necessary. I knew him and he knew me and the chances of meeting him again was minimum but then that was not the reason why. I felt like how much ever we knew of each other was enough and some how It made it special. We didn't need to keep in touch or bond. If we meet again, some where, It'll be special again, like how It was that day at a tea stall in Kakarbhita. 

There really are no strangers out there you know. I mean literally yeah there are people that you don't know and stuff but metaphorically, as humans we know we exist. We are aware of the existence of the people that we haven't even met or heard of! Then there are these people you come across and they don't have play any dramatic roles in your life. They don't have to define the meaning of life for you but they're there and they come into our lives and some how, even for that one small moment...we are not the same!