"Who in the World am I?Ah! That's the great puzzle"

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Kill the Bastards!!!!

Even as I am writing this post, I am actually exhausted!!! I mean this is not that first time that I am facing a situation like this or you are reading about an incident like this. This is what happened the other day. Six of us (all girls) head to the Lotus Temple, New Delhi. It is a popular tourist attraction and a place of worship for the people belonging to the Bahai religion. So we went there, to have fun, look around and have a good time. This is what happened and the exact opposite of a "Good-Time" is what happened to us.

The six of us walked into the premise. A man and his group of friends walking towards us, had his cell phone camera faced towards us. My friend, approached him and found out that he was recording a video of us so she deleted the video, yelled at him. We brushed it off and walked ahead.. Ten steps ahead, three school boys did the same. We scolded them and even though irritated, we let it go. Just as we'd dealt with them and were walking by, a man took a picture of me in his cell phone. That was it...I lost my cool. I grabbed the phone from his hand and of course, he began denying but before anything...I had called for the security and a small crowd gathered there. The security came in and took away that man's phone. I checked his "Images" folder and there I was, along with so many other women who had no idea a part of them was captured in his phone. I yelled at that man, my friends yelled at him. The security yelled at him... He began to get a little frightened. The security advised us to give the phone to the police who stand at the entrance/exit and if that man wanted his phone back, he should deal with the cops himself. As we walked ahead, that man kept apologizing and begging for forgiveness. My friends suggested that I give the phone back to him. I didn't want to but on second thoughts, I gave it back. I knew he wouldn't be punished and I knew he wouldn't think twice about doing something like this again. It was totally futile. That very moment, I felt completely drained and exhausted!

Picture yourself in my place. You go out to have a good time with your friends and then instead, you have to hear lewd comments, have people stare at you, have them harass you(some times molest/assault) you and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Really....yeah, so I raise a cry and hue about it and that particular man gets punished, you think after a week or so you will not hear about a north-east woman being raped or assaulted again? This has to stop. This is wrong but It won't. It won't because the people from our very own country have this attitude....."Oh...Delhi is like that only!" or "Who told those girls to go by themselves?" or some will actually question "What were those girls wearing? Were they decent enough?" Well, If Delhi is like this, then It should not be called a metropolitan city, It should be called a jungle cause It's sure inhabited by such low, cheap and illiterate animals who think and commit such crimes; And why were we girls by ourselves???? We were six of us! Aren't you the ones who raise a brow or two when you see boys and girls hanging out together. (It is not our culture) Don't you say those very lines???; Lastly, this is a free country. If I walk around in a bikini, technically, I am still clothed and that is not an excuse to rape or molest women!

The ironic thing is how easily and quickly these very people cry foul when Indians are discriminated abroad!!! I have said this time and again, this is funny! This is beyond funny...It is shameless!!!! There should be a law. If a man is caught red handed teasing/molesting/harassing a woman or women, he should be put behind bars immediately. If It is rape, wait only until the medical report and if the DNA belongs to the culprit, hang the man! How can rape ever be an accident? Like what??? Your johnson by-mistake fell into her vagina???? Give me a break!!!!!! Men who treat women like this should be shot right between the eye! They should be kicked so hard in the balls; they should be tortured to death. Yes, Harsh Punishment is the word. All you people who think I am being harsh, think about what you would do If someone actually raped your mother/sister/wife/girlfriend....What would you do If someone passed lewd comments and took pictures without their permission. Yeah, right you would stand there and play it cool, wouldn't you??? damn right!!!!

Harsh Punishment is what they deserve!!!! I know this will not stop here. It has to go on....like as If It is the most natural thing for it to happen. Screw you fucking assholes...you spastic motherfuckers! Give me a gun right now and I will hunt that mofo and shoot him. Sick, fuck, disgusting, twisted assholes...you deserve to die!!!!!!!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

A Real Hero

If someone had asked me who Anuradha Koirala was some months ago, I'd just blink, stating blankness. However, some weeks ago, I came across a link where people all over the world could vote for one person nominated by CNN for CNN Heroes 2010. Obviously, It included people who had made a major difference and taken the social responsibility, despite the struggles and dangers to make this world a better place.

Anuradha Koirala is the director and founder of a non-profit organization in Nepal, called Maiti Nepal(meaning: Mother's home in Nepalese). She started the organization in 1993. Matiti Nepal is a home for the victims of sex trafficking. Koirala works against the social evil of using women as a sex slave and rescues girls/women forced into such heinous activity. Maiti Nepal provides shelter and work for these rescued women and even helps them find their family and return home. For those who are not accepted back into their family, Maiti Nepal, allows them to stay until they figure things out on their own and are able to earn a livelihood for themselves.

Honestly, I did not know much about it until a couple of weeks ago; But after I read about her commitment and dedication, I can say, I have been inspired and encouraged to help. There are actually quite a lot of people in this world that you can look up to and think, "Man...I wish I could be like her/him" and Anuradha Koirala is definitely one of them. I suppose, the fact that she is a Nepalese, is another reason why I can associate and feel more inclined towards her social deed. She is a great example for all the Nepalese and for all the people in this world. God alone knows the difficulties and struggles she must have had while starting this organization. Imagine, a woman(supposedly the 'weaker sex') battling for the exploited women, in a world where the opposite sex wants to tear her down and ravage her in exchange for some monetary value. Some times, It's not even that! They only want to exploit and use these women for the thrill of it. When you think of some of the ugly things that happen in our world, It makes you sick and nauseous. Anuradha Koirala did not sit there, feeling like that. She took it up on herself to do something about It. Since 1993, she and Maiti Nepal have come a long way, rescuing a lot of women from the mouth of the twisted criminal-minded and insanely sex-obsessed people.

CNN honoured her with the CNN HERO OF THE YEAR 2010. As she accepted the award, she thanked the people and she encouraged us all to join her in battling against such cruel activity. What I liked and what inspired me personally was, she called two young people on the stage.(Samrat & Nisha) and she said that It was the 'Youth' who nominated her for this and she believes strongly that the 'Youth' can bring about a change in the future because the future belongs to the 'Youth'. Her trust and belief in us, her selfless sacrifice and her humble approach is enough for me to join hands with her and help her in any small way that I can to fight against sex-trafficking. Are you???

And...Ladies & Gentlemen...This is the line I have been dying to write. I went to the same school as her! Yes, this HERO and I studied in St. Joseph's Convent, Kalimpong, an all girls boarding school run by the Cluny Sisters. Obviously while she was a student there, I wasn't even born but nonetheless, our alma mater is the same and I can proudly say, our roots are the same!!! Hence, all the more reason for me to be awed and encouraged. She is one of us! (Josephites)

http://www.maitinepal.org/ Please visit the website and do your bit.

"A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." ~ Christopher Reeve

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Mission Impossible...NOT!

I should probably start another blog space all together for the adventures of my ally, Ms. Pallavika Ghising and I.  Since her arrival to the capital in September, Pallu (as I fondly call her) and I have taken every measure to see each other regularly(even though we live in the extreme opposite ends of the city). Yes, Delhi is big, might I add, very...very big! Thanks to the Common Wealth Games, the metro lines.(I am still not very familiar with that mode of transportation but I am getting there), in South Delhi have decreased our geographical distance and helped us get to each other frequently.

A couple of days ago, Pallu called me and asked me to join her on 'Operation- Ganga International School'. Apparently, her father had sent some stuff through a kid(who belongs to the state place as Pallu), studying there and we were supposed to go and collect it. Commando Pallu and I, met at Rajeev Chowk Metro station, circa 3:30pm. We purchased tickets until Kashmere Gate and yes, spent that time, talking and laughing at people around and people, that we could recall from long ago.

At Kashmere Gate, our throats went dry and we decided to buy something to drink from one of the kiosks. Since we had to change the lines and buy tickets for the Red Line, we had to drop the token, walk out of the exit, buy new tokens and pass through the security (again). As we were passing through the security, one of the guards, in his disgusting, irritating, dominating voice boomed at Pallu (in Hindi, obviously),
"Madame, you are not allowed to drink that in here. Go out and finish it."
Before she could retaliate, I plunged in, "We bought these drinks from inside the metro. If you want people drinking outside, you should set up kiosks and shops outside; And are we the only ones drinking and eating here? We are not even inside the train. What is your problem?"
The Security guard mumbled something and another of his aides came forward stating, "You all eat and drink here and leave the trash lying around."
"What do you mean by 'you all' ? " Pallu darted at him.
Before he could explain himself, for the second time that day, I barged in saying, "Have you seen her and me specifically throwing trash around? Do you even know us or recognize our faces?"
The guards were now a little agitated as people had started crowding around. We were giving them a street-play.
"And you don't need to teach us about keeping the environment safe and clean," Pallu shot at him, "We know better."
Moving towards the ticket counter, still drinking, I looked at the guard and then at Pallu and in the most sarcastic tone ever, said, "Is he a retard?"
"I think so," she responded.
We bought the tickets up to Inderlok and shooting glances at the guards and still drinking, walked past the security and up to the platform.
On reaching the platform, we realized there were no trash-bins around so we tossed the empty packets right there and looking at each other, giggling.
"Stupid, irritating asshole guards!"
"This stupid station doesn't even have a dust-bin!" I said in a, as-a-matter-of-fact tone.

On reaching Indelok, we realized we had to change lines again. So we purchased tickets up to Mundra and got on the Green Line. We had to pass through 13 stations and as we sat there, we started talking about brothels and prostitution. (It was probably the girls around that prompted us to begin the topic.) We laughed like Schizophrenics, as I re-told her the story that my ex-boyfriend had told me about the whore-houses at G.B Road and the famous Khal-Para at Siliguri, West Bengal. People stared at us as If we came from a different planet. Just then, I noticed a girl who had love bites on her neck and she took no measures to cover them. In fact, she seemed proud about it. I nudged Pallu and she understood what I meant. We sat there through 13 stations and when we finally reached Mundra, It was dark and the stars were out.

The school was about 4-5 kms away from the metro station and the janitor at the Mundra station advised us to take the bus. I gave a "no-way" look at Pallu. We thought we'd find an auto-rickshaw and hire it up to the school and back to the metro-station. To our utter disappointment and misfortune, there were not a single auto-rickshaw in sight and we felt like we really came from another planet. The people around were staring at us and passing comments. With our small eyes, fair-skinned complexion and 'Western Outfit' we definitely did not belong there. We walked ahead and saw a bus that was packed with people. Yeah, right...take the bus? That's be like purchasing tickets to let creepy-sweaty men molest you in the crowd. We walked as some people walked along with us and stared and said things that we did not understand. Pallu started getting scared, petrified!
"I always carry a Swiss-knife," I comforted her.

This man, had run out of fuel and was walking with his bike to a petrol pump.
"Excuse me Uncle, " I said.
He looked at us.
"Is this the route to Hirak kund....??? eh??? something like that?" (in Hindi)
"Where are you all going?" He asked
"Ganga International School," in unison.
"Yeah, this is the route. Why? Where are you from? Who are you going to meet?" etc etc etc the man interrogated. After explaining our mission, he said It's not safe for us to walk there on our own so he would accompany us till the gas station and he would even give us a lift on his bike till the school. Yes, we could not help ourselves and started laughing as I imagined the three of us on his bike.
"You sit in the middle," Pallu ordered.
The disadvantage of being skinny and petite is, whenever there's a crowd, you are expected to sit on someone's lap or ride trips on bikes! I've had enough of such experiences.

The petrol pump was almost 2 kms away and we walked. I started getting this side pain on my tummy region. I thought I would collapse. The uncle had found us very fascinating and he kept questioning us about everything.
"Are you from Nepal? China?"
I thought I'd lose all my energy, including my voice by the time the mission was completed.

After filling fuel at the gas station, the Uncle started his bike. I got in, placed my bag in between so there would be no body-to-body contact with the rider.(ewwwwww). Pallu almost fell off while trying to get on and yes, we laughed again. The school was another 2 or 2.5 kms away so as we rode on the highway, the three of us, Pallu kept laughing. I thought the man would lose his patience and leave us in the middle of the road. He kept talking and he even commented that we should have come early and how silent and deserted the area seemed to be. To which, Pallu, as If it was a reflex, responded,
"Haan-ji yeh area toh kitna veeran hai!" (This area is eerie-ly deserted.)
In that uncomfortable and space-deprived position, I managed to take a life-risking turn and look at Pallu. I gave her a, you-did-not-just-say-that look!
She laughed and then I just couldn't hold it. I laughed so hard. The uncle probably thought we were run-aways from some asylum.
Finally, we saw the school gate. Thanked the good Samaritan for his help and asked the security guard to call XYZ. As we waited there, in the dark, we asked the security guards If we could sit inside the school compund and wait. He allowed so we sat there and then this weird, cattle-like smell filled the air.
"Ewwww what's that smell?" Pallu asked, getting disgusted.
"It smells like a cow," I answered.
Just then we saw, near-by there was a stable and there were horses there.
"OMG! Look Avvan, horses!" Pallu screamed, like as If we had discovered water in the desert.
"So cool! these kids have riding facility?"
"I wish my parents had sent me to a boarding school where we could ride horses," Pallu said, with regret and sadness in her voice.
"Yeah, me too," I joined.
Boy XYZ turned up with the stuff. Pallu and he exchanged formal greetings and had a small talk. Once the exchange was made, I breathed a sigh of relief! It was past 8:30pm and the sky was dark and the breeze, chilly.

I'd used my brain previously(while walking) and booked a taxi that could come pick us up and take us back home. Well, there was no way we could find another transport back to the metro station and walking back would be totally insane! We requested the security guards to allow us to wait in the school premises until the cab arrived. He let us. As Pallu and me, still gossiped and laughed about silly things, a drunkard showed up at the gate. He mumbled something and shook his index finger, like a warning sign at Pallu.
Instead of getting scared, we both started laughing.

I think we spent almost an hour, sitting there as I made frantic calls to the taxi-driver, every ten minutes, who kept lying that he was driving real fast(like James Bond). He finally showed up and as Pallu and me got into the car, we breathed a sigh of relief.

It took us more than an hour to get home. In between Pallu kept complaining that she gets car-sick and that, she wanted to throw up. Fortunately, she didn't. I don't know what I would have done, had she actually thrown up. We didn't even have a bottle of water and had run out of tissues! Let's NOT imagine that situation. Enough adventure for the day!

Operation- Ganga International School was completed and Agent Pallu and Agent Avvan, took pride and were satisfied at the accomplishment. (Believe me, If Agent Ethan Hunt is reading this, he is worrying about his replacement in the next Mission Impossible movie.)

In another hour, I am heading to the famous flea market, Sarojini Nagar, with Pallu. I'll keep you updated If adventure finds us again, or If we find it ;)

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Love at First(and probably Last) Sight

My friend, Pallavika and I were loitering around Kamla Nagar, North Delhi the other day. We'd planned the north trip so we could visit Majnu ka Tilla(MT), the famous Tibetan locality, to hog 'Ghar ko Khana.' After eating more than our stomachs could take, we headed towards K-Nags(That's what the Delhi University students call Kamla Nagar).

Exhausted and irritated at the queue outside the ATM, Pallu and I decided to stop at Cafe Coffee Day for a while. We placed our orders and were gossiping about everything and anything in the world. Obviously, laughing at the waiter who took our order.(He seemed to have some sort of mental disorder....Progeria??? Autism??? ). Pallu complained her eyes looked strained and her liner smudged so she borrowed my make-up bag(Hello Kitty one) and was giving herself some touch-up. Since we were seated at a table near the entrance and CCD(Cafe Coffee Day) has glass doors(duh....obviously!!!!), we could see people walking outside in the street. I could see them actually, as Pallu had her back facing the door and I had the view.

We were talking about something insignificant and laughing and then.....There he was! Suddenly a breeze blew over and in the background, a piano started playing. White tee, jeans, fair skinned, short(not very short) hair and dimpled cheeks. He was walking with some of his friends(I assumed) and then he looked in. I looked straight at him and my heart stopped beating for a while. Seriously, we were looking at each other. His face, His expression...that moment....It was all too good to be true!!! I heard no sound, I felt nothing, except this elevated feeling. It was like the movies. Slow-motion and all that jazz...He continued walking but his eyes were fixed on me; I continued staring, oblivious and callous to Pallu blabbering. In the background, Aqualung's "Brighter than Sunshine" played on.

Then he bumped into his friend who was walking ahead. Suddenly, he realized how silly he looked and an embarrassed smile crossed his face. His dimples displayed at the left cheek. I thought I was about to collapse. He, then shook his head in embarrassment and looked at me again, the smile, still stuck on his face. I stared (gawked??)  at him and he passed by...His image faded away and then, reality struck me like lightning.

"OMG! OMG! OMG!" I screamed. Pallu, shocked and surprised. "What happened?"
"I just saw this super cute guy pass by."
Pallu turned around and tried to locate the face I was talking about...Too late...He'd walked away. "Where?"
"He was there....He was there," I said, excitedly.
"Gosh! calm down woman...," Pallu went back to her touching-up process.

That was that...I don't know who he is. All I know is our eyes met that one moment and the world stopped spinning. Out of the 6 billion people in the world, I know, He and I, shared one long moment. I wish Life was like the movies. . . I wish our paths would cross again; But honestly, even If It did, I wouldn't be able to recognize him. Anyway, that one short moment will last forever...

Ahhhhh....White Tee Guy with the cute dimples...Where are you????? Who are you??? Will I see you again???

Friday, October 1, 2010

The Wet Stuff

Controversial title...eh??? If you are a Josephite; especially a boarder(lived in the school hostel), you would know what I am talking about, And If you are reading this because the title caught your attention, then we know what your state of mind is!

In St. Joseph's Convent, Kalimpong, a Catholic school for girls, run by the Sisters of St Joseph of Cluny, we lived to eat! It's not like we were not fed. We were!!! Four times a day:
07:30am- Breakfast
11:25am- Lunch
03:30pm- Tea & Snacks
07:30pm- Supper

Yet the wave of gluttony was never satiated. The sly geniuses that we were, we had perfected the act of smuggling  food  through the mesh, which encompassed the border of the school compound. Whatever time of the day, If opportunity found us or be found, we indulged in that particular "sin" with no second thought. The Boxie Bhaiya (the only Male,the girls looked forward to every day ) with his box of  heart-burn inducing( and sometimes the Diarrhea causing) goodies  with a very questionable hygiene,was too tempting to resist. He must have made a small fortune and is probably retired to his new three-storied mansion by now. I highly doubt he consumes his own creative culinary  (mis)offerings.

Coming to the Wet Stuff..., both origin and intent of the words evade me.
For us, those two words combined were the equivalent of  the "happily-ever-after" fairy-tale. Although we referred to food as  the Wet Stuff , not every edible was called hither.The Wet Stuff menu was short and comprised of :
Fried Rice
(If you are a Josephite, you are probably salivating right now)

And this was how it worked: We would coerce enough "pocket money" from our parents after the holidays.We weren't allowed to keep any money... But have you ever heard of Obedient Girls in Catholic School? If you have,It definitely did not include us! Anyway, we always had a good and close day-scholar friend or two(or more...) who lived in or about the town. And so ,after a thoroughly debated menu ,the math (including the carrier's commission) was done and the funds provided (in accordance to quantity of consumption) began the long and trying process of waiting . What happened after that or how the accomplice procured the objects of our affection, didn't really matter as long as they were delivered . The smuggling of the prohibited food into the school premises were performed skillfully, without creating much chaos or suspicion.(except on those few occasions when the strong and delicious aroma of food would make a few authoritarian eyebrows rise ; And like bloodhounds ,they would track down the smell and apprehend the guilty. But that rarely happened)

The bliss and satisfaction that we got by consuming those items, is vocabularily indescribable. You should see the size most of us were, back in school. We ate like there was no tomorrow! We ate like we had been starving for years! We ate like someone had paid us to eat! We were a bunch of greedy, ravening, gormandizing stomachs and all we cared about was, what to eat the following day!

I guess all of us have grown up now and left those barbaric, swinish days behind; But even today, to mention "Wet Stuff" to a Josephite would be like Pavlov ringing his godforsaken bell much to the disappointment of the dogs! Therefore, I think I speak for all my girls when I say; Our first Love will always be The Wet Stuff.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Infinite Reverie

So, another cigarette burns on my fingers,
An Infinite Reverie;
Slow & Solemn,
The Memory Lingers...

Monday, July 26, 2010

God is NOWHERE...no, not NOW! NO-WHERE....get it??? NO-WHERE!!!

We, foolish humans have unwanted desires...That's a basic fact and once you know it, you don't become the "Enlightened One" instead, It makes you just the opposite...Intolerant!!! Of course we have desires that may seem unwanted and lavish...Hello??? WE ARE HUMANS! Isn't that an excuse for the lives we lead?

Humans...Born to make mistakes and all that shit! Some times these things annoy the crap out of me! See, I am a pretty tolerant person and on a normal day, I can endure to sit next to a pious old man/woman and hear stories about how God is the sole authority and how we are nothing but mere souls, sent here for a while and that we have a better life waiting for us after we die....

Fact 1: I am an Atheist, Therefore, I have a dominant problem when people feed me crap like that. However, I am not a rebellious raging teenager that I'd join anti-christ cults and occult groups....Nor will I dress in black and wear weird make-up!!!! Like I said, I can endure that shit...What really pisses me off is the fact that I have been nourished and fattened with this paltry fact from the time I was born, that the thought about a "Higher Authority" has been tattooed in my head. It pisses me off cos people relate everything to God; Like how he has a hand in everything, especially RELATIONSHIPS & LOVE!!!!...I mean If God really loved the world, why did he sent us to earth??? And what's this whole shit about leading a "Good Life" now so that we can have a better world when we die??? God's testing us? Why would he want to test us If he loved us? Would you put somebody you loved in a maze filled with glittering temptations and test him/her??? And If we're so sure about this so-damn-fucking-next-life...Why can't we all kill ourselves and pass onto the next world???

Fact 2: When you start reading the stuff that you're not supposed to at an early age; Hang out with people you're not supposed to; Eat/Drink things that you're not supposed to...You begin to wander & wonder! Yes, You begin to look around and ask questions....question the faith, question beliefs & question your very own existence! After a quarter of existence in this planet, I began questioning. The funny thing was, no one really had the answers and It all came down to "God knows what is best for you." & "God works in strange ways" and "God is silent because he is listening"...REALLY??? Okay, so God, If you're listening, I want to know why did you let the earthquake in Haiti affect three million people? or wait, Why did you let Hitler and crew persecute the Jews??? or Why did you let so many innocent Japanese die on August 6th, 1947??? Cos honestly speaking, If you could tear the clouds open and part the Red Sea like in the Bible, I think you couldn't have had a better timing than on the days of such catastrophes, to do the same....

Fact 3: Things DON'T happen for a reason. It happens because you want it to or someone else wants it to! It's as simple as that. You love a person, It's your call. He loves you too, His call....He decides to love another person(It's still his call!!!) God has nothing to do with this! God has nothing to do with the fact that you're crying on your bed, heartbroken and hurt, with your own breath choking you and you don't know If It's okay to take the air in and breathe or hold your breath; Both ways you're gonna choke and honey, Both ways, you're fucked!

I wrote this blog cos I was sick and tired of people complaining about God and how cruel he can be cos often enough when you're wailing there with a broken heart, he's turning a deaf ear! Relationships happen cos we want them to. We love people and things happen because we want them to and some times people don't love you or they exploit you, only because they can! Simple as that. God doesn't make them do it! We're humans, remember???

So don't stay there crying on your bed cos he's going to meet his other girlfriend after he made love to you. He's doing it because he can and you're crying because you can...God has absolutely nothing to do with it! I don't mean to be indifferent and cold because I know what pain is and It hurts because that's just the way Life is. Don't look for reasons and explanations, especially when it comes to Love. Trust me, there are none!

......I may sound a bit crude and diabolical but I am going to say it anyway....If you're so depressed and feel like you just want to cease to exist, go ahead and kill yourself. I don't mean to encourage suicide...I am only saying, I won't call you a coward or a retard If you do it. If you still believe God works in strange ways and he has a hand in all of this, then well, I guess I gotta agree with the KING (Stephen King) and say, "God is cruel...Some times he lets you live...."

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Things have Changed.....That's what You said....

You know it ain't easy
For these thoughts here to leave me
There's no words to describe it
In French or in English
Well, diamonds they fade
And flowers they bloom
And I'm telling you
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out lately
Whenever you come around me
These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
I keep thinking in a moment that
Time will take them away
But these feelings won't go away 

                                                         ~ Sideways, Citizen Cope

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Could It Be Any Harder???

And you were still YOU....
I wasn't me.....
I wanted to,
I couldn't....
Could It Be Any Harder????

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

This is sooooooooooooo Funny....NOT!!!!!

Definition/Study of a North-East Indian( based on the Behavioral pattern and the Pro-Social Nature of the Ignorant Indians): Any fair skinned person with small eyes whose staple diet is Momo & whose language is "Ching-Chong". These people look alike and It is very difficult to differentiate between them even If one happens to be your really good friend. It is perfectly natural to mistake a stranger for your best bud (even though you know what your best bud was wearing when you stepped out of the house together and the stranger is in a completely different attire!). Yeah, that's about it! Nothing much.....

Okay, so I like Shahid Kapoor. I think he's cute and beyond that, he's a versatile actor. He's second on my list after SRK. Hence when I saw the trailer of his upcoming film, "Badmaash Company," I was delighted and obviously made up my mind to watch the film. Last week I noticed a particular scene in the trailers and trust me, It didn't make me happy.

Now I don't know If this film is a remake/Hindi version of the Jim Strugees, Kate Boshworth, Kevin Spacey starer 21(with of course, a lot of naach-gaana and hot girls in bikini and the elimination of an 'Old-Man' aka Kevin Spacey ...who needs an Old Guy in a Mod-Bollywood flick???)
If It's one of those "different" films that most of our actors talk about.
Anyway, I was lazying around, with the television on and the Badmaash Company trailer flashed on tv.
This scene: Shahid Kapoor & the gang are hanging around and having a good time...la-la-la etc and Shahid very "genuinely" puts his arm around an unknown Asian Guy, assuming him to be his buddy, Chang (or Zing, His character in the movie.Btw I think It's very innovative and creative of the film makers to come up with such an unusual name like "Zing" considering that most often, the Asian characters in Hindi films are named, "Bahadur" or "Thapa")
Note***Asian Guy & Zing= Small eyes, Fair-skinned Boys. (Co'mon....You can't blame anyone for mistaking them as one person, Can you? But hey, You better not mistake a Sikh with a turban for a Muslim Cause I am gonna beat the shit outta you!)

My point is....Is that an excuse or a reason for people from other regions of the country to think that all North-Easterns look alike?
This is pure racism and It's put so subtly across the screen that most of you haven't even noticed it! You've only noticed Shahid Kapoor and his washboard abs or Anushka Sharma and her longer-than-the-Nile legs. The reason I am appalled by this whole scene is that I cannot believe somebody in the film crew came up with such an insensitive idea as this and the director put it in the film, probably thinking, "This is funny!".
To which I have a response, "Sorry Mr Director, I don't find that the least bit funny. Wait...how about Shahid Kapoor mistaking another non-Asian guy for Vir Das??? That would be soooooooooo funny! I would be ROFL-ing. Seriously....cause It's not like You are this Crass Racist who thinks only because Chang has "small eyes", It makes all the difference, do you? This scene is very very genuine and not misleading! Is that right?"

See, I still like Shahid Kapoor and It's not like I am not going to watch this movie or protest or even create a group in Facebook. The thing is, I only wish that more people saw how Racism is encouraged and enhanced in this country.(Knowingly or Unknowingly) I mean, It's literally celebrated and then we have a problem when Foreigners think that "Indian" is the language of India. Most of the people in this country don't even know how many states make up this country and the North-East region is considered insignificant to them. I remember studying the names of all the states, their capitals, their festivals and everything about the state in a subject called Social Studies when I was in the primary section! I doubt the Ignorant people had such a subject in school. I am not saying that one should be a Smart Alec or Mr/Ms know-It-all....All I am saying is that you should know enough to differentiate between right and wrong.

And coming back to the film, Badmaash Company, I "genuinely" hope that the movie does not bomb at the Box-Office. With all his movies busting, Shahid sure, is in need of a hit. (No pun intended).

Friday, April 16, 2010

The Same Old, Brand New Me

Okay...So I didn't die;
And I've learnt that I am no Nostradamus.....I am actually glad that my predictions were awfully incorrect and insanely stupid! Anyway, I turned BLONDE today. yaay!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

"It's time to face the Truth....I will never Be with You"

This one's actually four years old. You know that Post-Break-Up phase. I wrote this on 14th April 2006 when I bumped into my ex (The Toadman...Okay promise I will stop calling him that after this post), three months after he dumped me. It was at a party and he was with his new girlfriend. It was just like the movies....totally awkward and unplanned (even though I'd spent each and every day in those last three months wishing and wanting to meet him). Here It is....The Stinky Past:

A sea of faces,
I was struggling in.
Time racing; The noise deafening.
I looked into your eyes,
Tranquility swept over.
You looked back at me,
Time was stagnant; And
She stood behind.
My smile was weak & my voice, almost lost.
Your smile was uncertain;
You had no words.
I walked on by.
You lead her through.
I felt exhausted.
I'd lost You.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Tonight I write the Saddest Lines

As a part of my course, I did Pablo Neruda's poem in my Under-grad level a couple of years ago. It was called: Tonight I write the saddest lines. It was in translation (Of course!)
Those of you, who have read the poem know how simple yet deep the lines are. Those of you who haven't, I'd like to share the poem with you and my thoughts on it. So this is not a regular post of stuff that I do or that happen to me. Read It If and when you have the time:

Tonight I write the saddest lines,
Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."  [Notice how he states that its night and obviously night = without light= darkness. He says the sky is full of stars but uses the word "shiver" for stars when people usually say the stars twinkled; Also the mention of the "blue" night]

The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.  [Isn't it such a haunting picture. I can almost hear the wind crying in this line]

Tonight I write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.  [Such blatant truth layered with some amount of uncertainty in such a simple line]

On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her. [The truth again, in a tone full or regret and remorse]
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes? [The bigger truth: If he had the opportunity to love her again, He would]

Tonight I write the saddest lines.
To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.  [Forsaken, Betrayed, Crushed. The pain is almost physical. To have had her once and to have lost her is excruciating]

To hear the immense night, more immense without her. ["Hear" the night says he's alone. It describes his solitude and loneliness. The silence is deafening and his desolation, a tribulation; Also the use of the word "immense" to describe how vast and void the night is] And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass. [How these sad, depressing lines actually brings the reader some sort of relief because he/she can identify & relate]

What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.

That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.

As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her. [Helpless yet the desire and his longing to have just one sight of her] 
My heart searches for her and she is not with me. [Defeat and Disappointment] 

The same night that whitens the same trees. [How time flies by and separates them; forcing them to be somewhere else, to be somebody else, even If they may not wan it]
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.

I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her. [ The lie: I no longer love her" because he wants to deny it but somehow he cannot even lie. He goes right ahead in the nest line and even though he uses the past tense, It is evident that he still loves her]
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear. [ I could cry in this line.He sounds vanquished and broken]

Someone else's. She will be someone else's. As she once
belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.  [The harsh truth that when Its over, Its only over because something new has to begin. The acrid truth that he will be or probably has been replaced]

I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her. [ The insanity creeping in and deliberate confusion taking over]
Love is so short and oblivion so long. [ Love dies but memories come back to haunt you over and over again. Love is concise but forgetting takes more than one life time]

Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.  [Despite the denial and confusion in the earlier lines, He eventually admits that He is missing her]

Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her. [ He ends the poem with a lie, knowing that he is lying; knowing that the readers don't believe him because when he lies, he escapes from this coarse reality; And escaping looks like the only sane thing left for him to do]
Tonight I write the saddest lines 

Monday, March 1, 2010

Monday, February 15, 2010

His Name Is Khan

Shah Rukh Khan needs no introduction. The man is undoubtedly the King of Bollywood. I know some people "hate" him and often have something negative to say when I proclaim that I am one of his biggest fans and I Love all his movies (Yes, including Ram Jaane and Maya Memsaab and Guddu). The reason I adore him is far beyond what he portrays on screen and appears to be as an actor. For a Delhi boy with no Godfathers in the industry, it was almost an impossible task to make it big in the films but he has done it because he is extraordinary and he was born to do this. (Just like Sachin Tendulkar was born to play cricket & Kobe Bryant was born to play basketball).
I watched My Name Is Khan recently and obviously, I loved the film. I agree It didn't have a great script like the recent favourite, 3 idiots but SRK works magic in all his films and thats the reason he has fans like me. I think he's already answered his critics with his spectacular performance in Chak De India and now playing an autistic person suffering from Asperger's Syndrome in MNIK, I can say, He has answered them well!
People have this thing for comparison you know. They compare him to Big B and Amir Khan and Salman Khan and the infamous comparison with Hrithik Roshan in 2000 when Kaho Na Pyaar Hai was released is something which all of us will remember. The thing is, these people are all good actors! Why should we compare them? Is it some sort of insecurity? There needs to be no need for this sort of co-relative discrimination!
I have shed buckets of tears watching him lose his lover in Devdas; I have howled and had puffy swollen eyes after watching him die in Kal Ho Na Ho; I have wished He'd get Kiiiiiran instead of Sunny Deol in Daar! There is something about SRK that makes me want to adore him and make sure that he achieves success in all his movies.
I cannot put it in one sentence and say why He deserves all of this. There is a reason why he is called the King  and not everybody can reach the zeniths and stay there like him.
When you are born with a name like Shah Rukh (meaning: Noble Face or Royal Face) you know that you are sent from the Heavens to rule people's hearts. I guess it's his eyes, or perhaps his radiating personality or may be its everything about him that makes me and millions of his fans adore him.
Inshal-allah! May success kiss his feet like it always has and may he live a thousand years!
Yes, his name is KHAN and believe me, that's one name you will never forget!

Sunday, January 24, 2010

The Death Of a Toadman

Let me give away a little woman secret....Most women have a PEOPLE TO KILL list and this list usually features some of the top notch people from the lady's dramatic life. More often than not, the list begins with the Ex-Boyfriend. That hyphenated word does not include every man that you have been in the past. If he features on this list, It probably refers to that one asshole who screwed up your life in more than one way and never said sorry. [Note***In some cases, It features more than one asshole]

So yeah, I have this list and It has the names of some people whose death would bring me more joy than any man has ever felt. (Probably more joy than the first orgasm every experienced by any human). I am not going to talk about all the people who appear on my list but just this one douchebag who looks like a toad (which also suggests that If at all toads become an endangered species then, we have nothing to worry about because we will have TOADMAN to save the planet!)

This Toadman, I met him when I was 17 and he was 25. (My friend Angelo said, "Some people go to jail for that"); And then of course, time stood still and the flowers bloomed and the birds sang and then without any warning, a tsunami struck!I don't need to get into the details of how things were and how they changed. Most of you know what I am talking about.(Yes, Yes, his constant cheating and his lies and the violent fights) The thing is Its been four years since the catastrophe struck and I was doing well and good cos I hadn't seen or heard from him or about him until this morning.....

I was bored to death and was browsing facebook so I was going through a common friend's photos and there I saw the Toadman...Older, Uglier, Deformed, Almost Frightening...totally grotesque you know! (I am afraid to sleep now, lest I have nightmares about the Toadman). The thing is when I saw him, my heart started beating faster, my breath ran short and like my friend, Tamdin said, I felt like this current flowing through my body making me feel "chui chui". 
I hate him
I hate him
I hate him
I hate him......

The hurt, the pain, the agony all came back like this huge wave and hit me so hard! Then, I thought, I have to kill him. Now obviously, I cannot kill him for real so I thought I'd kill him fictitiously. Imagine:

The Toadman, helpless and ugly lies crouched and tied in a dark corner (after being drugged and beaten up worse than The Rock beat up HHH in Wrestlemania 2002). The Toadman regains consciousness and Wonder Woman throws him a hard punch straight on the face as blood spills all over and he whines like a feeble animal when caught in a hunter's trap. Then Wonder Woman takes a clipper and slowly pulls his nails right off his fingers. More blood....More crying and an evil laughter echoes in that dark corner. She takes a sharp blade and begins to make small cuts all over his body, not deep cuts though, those small but acute cuts that prick like hell. He pleads and begs Wonder Woman to stop but Wonder Woman has waited for this all her life and she looks into his shallow eyes and taking a fork, digs right into his eyes and pulls it out of the socket. The nerves and veins tingle like ramen when picked up with a chopstick from a bowl.
He cries!
She laughs!
Red Nile keeps flowing like a river. She takes a hammer and some nails and slowly beings hammering them into his knees and elbows. Then, taking a sledgehammer she puts in all her strength and crushes his testicles. His howls fill the room but It doesn't surpass the walls because Her anger and vengeful desire has them well covered. She takes a machete and slowly cuts his heart open. Just as she is about to pull it out, she stops.
"Please don't kill me," he begs, barely able to speak.
She looks at him, grabs his hair and as a heinous smile spreads on her lips, she says, "Your wish is my command"
And as he lies there, half dead, alone, dissected, slaughtered with only a whiff of air left to breathe, he mutters, "I am sorry......"
Too late....Wonder Woman has disappeared into the shadows, never to be seen again!

So yeah, this list that I have, features others as well but you know what? This particular bastard is going to die a thousand deaths so until next time, let's leave that mofo dying in the corner. Watch out for my next post ;)