"Who in the World am I?Ah! That's the great puzzle"

Monday, June 23, 2008

The Loss of a Father


Friday morning I was at work, it had seemed like a usual morning, until my mother called and in a panic stricken voice, informed me that my grandfather had passed away...

I had never had a close relationship with the man. His chronicles included a profuse lifestyle, his short lived but notable political career, his Hong Kong visit that nurtured his writing skills and resulted in an Odyssey, that is piled and flipped through often by his grand-children, particularly, me. His old age transformed him into a solitary and slow soul that he began living in a different world which seemed uncomprehending to us.

Over the years, I had never seen my father converse much with him. My father and His father had a strange relationship, one that was built on past misunderstandings and mistakes. Yet, it seemed like my father had accepted the man with all his flaws and most of all, still loved and respected him. It was evident...at least to me.

So, I called up my father this morning and I wasn't sure what to say. "Should I come home?" I asked. "No," my father replied in a tone that I'd never heard before. It was slow, sad and solemn.
I would have never imagined the death of a parent . . .
But this morning I felt it. My father's tone, his unuttered pain, his unimaginable loss made me feel the incurable sting that a child feels when he loses his Father.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

now now..this is strange..i m writing a comment for a girl whom i have never met ..and it seems that i m the first one to do so..but frens this is not strange..the strange thing is that looking at her fotos and the kind of games she plays after some bottles,one can never think she can write so well.."the loss of a father" is very close to me as i have love one..but down the line when i sit back in my terrace room,all alone ,in a city that never sleeps,with ciggeretes,mosquitoes and flies,my only frens,i think of the things that might have happened in the past..but again as i go deep into my thoughts ,my thoughts,i think abt the thoughts i thought when i was a kid..but again my thought betrays me everytime..i go to a point and i just can't enter the other side of the corner..it stops there..smoke and bottles have played games with my thoughts..so wat i do is take another smoke and smoke it..and the time reads 3 AM..i talk to the flies in my room for sometime and then go to sleep..so my room is called the fly and the lonely guy..packed my bags one day and i came home(kpg) after dokeys yrs....i was a tough guy..thats wat i thought of myself..but as i met my mom ,i could not see her properly..there was something in my eyes..huh..i thought i was a tough guy..i went back to the innocent days of my childhood and remembered that my mom had done so much for me that i never felt "the loss of a father"..
dear avantika nice post that was and now i m impressed with ur writing..very much..i think bombay's callin u..

Anonymous said...

hi..Didn't know where else to write.I was just researchin on how many bloggers were there in sikkim.I came across ur page and thot should add u too.Hope u don't mind.Its nothing to worry about.The reason for my blog is just to connect every bloggers:)
tc and nice Blog:)
www.hamrogangtok.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

WOW....oh..wow !!! WOW....ure really sumthin..aint ya?? lol.Anything im gonna type now..is not gonna do justice to the stuff i just read.You gave me sum goosebumps there!!! (Hahaha...jeez....now i feel as shallow as spit on concrete)
Hey,u ever think about goin professional?
Ure right up there...ya know??!!

Anonymous said...
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