The Photoshop Magic

His Name Is Khan

Shah Rukh Khan needs no introduction. The man is undoubtedly the King of Bollywood. I know some people "hate" him and often have something negative to say when I proclaim that I am one of his biggest fans and I Love all his movies (Yes, including Ram Jaane and Maya Memsaab and Guddu). The reason I adore him is far beyond what he portrays on screen and appears to be as an actor. For a Delhi boy with no Godfathers in the industry, it was almost an impossible task to make it big in the films but he has done it because he is extraordinary and he was born to do this. (Just like Sachin Tendulkar was born to play cricket & Kobe Bryant was born to play basketball).
I watched My Name Is Khan recently and obviously, I loved the film. I agree It didn't have a great script like the recent favourite, 3 idiots but SRK works magic in all his films and thats the reason he has fans like me. I think he's already answered his critics with his spectacular performance in Chak De India and now playing an autistic person suffering from Asperger's Syndrome in MNIK, I can say, He has answered them well!
People have this thing for comparison you know. They compare him to Big B and Amir Khan and Salman Khan and the infamous comparison with Hrithik Roshan in 2000 when Kaho Na Pyaar Hai was released is something which all of us will remember. The thing is, these people are all good actors! Why should we compare them? Is it some sort of insecurity? There needs to be no need for this sort of co-relative discrimination!
I have shed buckets of tears watching him lose his lover in Devdas; I have howled and had puffy swollen eyes after watching him die in Kal Ho Na Ho; I have wished He'd get Kiiiiiran instead of Sunny Deol in Daar! There is something about SRK that makes me want to adore him and make sure that he achieves success in all his movies.
I cannot put it in one sentence and say why He deserves all of this. There is a reason why he is called the King  and not everybody can reach the zeniths and stay there like him.
When you are born with a name like Shah Rukh (meaning: Noble Face or Royal Face) you know that you are sent from the Heavens to rule people's hearts. I guess it's his eyes, or perhaps his radiating personality or may be its everything about him that makes me and millions of his fans adore him.
Inshal-allah! May success kiss his feet like it always has and may he live a thousand years!
Yes, his name is KHAN and believe me, that's one name you will never forget!

The Death Of a Toadman

Let me give away a little woman secret....Most women have a PEOPLE TO KILL list and this list usually features some of the top notch people from the lady's dramatic life. More often than not, the list begins with the Ex-Boyfriend. That hyphenated word does not include every man that you have been in the past. If he features on this list, It probably refers to that one asshole who screwed up your life in more than one way and never said sorry. [Note***In some cases, It features more than one asshole]


So yeah, I have this list and It has the names of some people whose death would bring me more joy than any man has ever felt. (Probably more joy than the first orgasm every experienced by any human). I am not going to talk about all the people who appear on my list but just this one douchebag who looks like a toad (which also suggests that If at all toads become an endangered species then, we have nothing to worry about because we will have TOADMAN to save the planet!)

This Toadman, I met him when I was 17 and he was 25. (My friend Angelo said, "Some people go to jail for that"); And then of course, time stood still and the flowers bloomed and the birds sang and then without any warning, a tsunami struck!I don't need to get into the details of how things were and how they changed. Most of you know what I am talking about.(Yes, Yes, his constant cheating and his lies and the violent fights) The thing is Its been four years since the catastrophe struck and I was doing well and good cos I hadn't seen or heard from him or about him until this morning.....

I was bored to death and was browsing facebook so I was going through a common friend's photos and there I saw the Toadman...Older, Uglier, Deformed, Almost Frightening...totally grotesque you know! (I am afraid to sleep now, lest I have nightmares about the Toadman). The thing is when I saw him, my heart started beating faster, my breath ran short and like my friend, Tamdin said, I felt like this current flowing through my body making me feel "chui chui". 
I hate him
I hate him
I hate him
I hate him......

The hurt, the pain, the agony all came back like this huge wave and hit me so hard! Then, I thought, I have to kill him. Now obviously, I cannot kill him for real so I thought I'd kill him fictitiously. Imagine:

The Toadman, helpless and ugly lies crouched and tied in a dark corner (after being drugged and beaten up worse than The Rock beat up HHH in Wrestlemania 2002). The Toadman regains consciousness and Wonder Woman throws him a hard punch straight on the face as blood spills all over and he whines like a feeble animal when caught in a hunter's trap. Then Wonder Woman takes a clipper and slowly pulls his nails right off his fingers. More blood....More crying and an evil laughter echoes in that dark corner. She takes a sharp blade and begins to make small cuts all over his body, not deep cuts though, those small but acute cuts that prick like hell. He pleads and begs Wonder Woman to stop but Wonder Woman has waited for this all her life and she looks into his shallow eyes and taking a fork, digs right into his eyes and pulls it out of the socket. The nerves and veins tingle like ramen when picked up with a chopstick from a bowl.
He cries!
She laughs!
Red Nile keeps flowing like a river. She takes a hammer and some nails and slowly beings hammering them into his knees and elbows. Then, taking a sledgehammer she puts in all her strength and crushes his testicles. His howls fill the room but It doesn't surpass the walls because Her anger and vengeful desire has them well covered. She takes a machete and slowly cuts his heart open. Just as she is about to pull it out, she stops.
"Please don't kill me," he begs, barely able to speak.
She looks at him, grabs his hair and as a heinous smile spreads on her lips, she says, "Your wish is my command"
And as he lies there, half dead, alone, dissected, slaughtered with only a whiff of air left to breathe, he mutters, "I am sorry......"
Too late....Wonder Woman has disappeared into the shadows, never to be seen again!

So yeah, this list that I have, features others as well but you know what? This particular bastard is going to die a thousand deaths so until next time, let's leave that mofo dying in the corner. Watch out for my next post ;)

All I want 4 X-mas is....?????

X-mas is a merry season to be Merry??? Happy??? yes, and do something good. Also, nobody likes being alone on X-mas....neither do I; But Its X-mas eve and here I am, all by myself in my apartment. A couple of hours ago, I was at my ex boyfriend's house. Well I went there yesterday when I was all alone (again) and totally brain fucked. So I went there and his friend, Kundol was there as well so I had company and all went well....(well = normal); When I woke up, I found out that my ex boyfriend had a movie date with a chick that he called his "friend". Nice! Well, to be honest, I wasn't jealous. I mean really...we're not even together anymore you know and It's just a movie (James Cameron's AVATAR btw, which I haven't watched yet and have been dying to!). So my ex boyfriend and me had our talk:

"I am here...thinking may be things will work out again, " I said, "But If you have something going on with her and feel like it's gonna proceed into something, then you should let me know."
"She's just a friend," He said, "And I am not looking for a relationship with her or with anyone or even with you; And this is not even a date!!!"
Silence.....
"Look," he started again,"I like being single and I like what I am doing right now so I don't wanna be forced into a relationship with you."
"Is it possible for two people to stay in love forever," Ellen Page's voice kept echoing in my head. (The tv was on and they were showing JUNO on star movies)
Before he left, he sat down beside me and said, "Avvan...I'll be back after the movie and I'll come home to you and we can watch some Korean series together, okay?"
I nodded..."Okay"
****NOTE:[ I'd secretly read all the text messages exchanged between him and the movie chick while he had been sleeping earlier and it definitely looked like a date and It was super clear that they were flirting]
He left
Ten minutes after that, I got up....packed my stuff.
Kundol who was a mere spectator until then finally spoke, "Where are you going?"
"Home," I answered.
"Why? Stay...He'll be back in a while."
"It's ok, I have to go...."
"Why?"
"I don't know...."

On my way back home, I thought, He's already sorted out his life and planned things for himself you know. What was I doing at his place anyway? His plan didn't include me and can u imagine me waiting there, while he was on a date with another woman? That's why I came home....It was X-mas and It was time to do at least one good deed which was not selfish! I wanted to be selfless....
So here I am....alone, on X-mas eve and I am thinking....Is something gonna happen now? Now that I've done the good deed...Is something gonna change? Then I realize....I am not being selfless....Instead I am being selfish; doing this supposed "Good deed", hoping that something good will happen to me!
You know...I wish I was a good person by default. I am not....I try to be, some times...It just doesn't work out for me and I wish I could say I was different from the rest; But the truth is, I am just like everyone of you....selfish, spoilt and very very ordinary!
This X-mas sucks!!!! None-the-less
Merry X-mas & Happy Holidays
PS: I lost my phone a couple of days ago...So yup, Loneliness knows me by my name! Merry X-mas again!

Untitled VI

Another morning, I lay awake,
On your side of bed,
Visions I create, Memories I remake.
I curse the dawn that's breaking.
Under the blanket,
My stupid heart aching!
A book on the table beside,
"The Catcher in the Rye"
I flip the pages, I think of You;
I sigh!
I reach out for a cigarette,
It fills my lungs, my heart,
I reminisce the last time we met.

The moments linger,
You linger,
I linger.....
Pictures of you, like leaves are piled in a heap,
I don't know when I fall asleep.

Another morning I lay awake.......